One of the most difficult things a coach must do is balance relationship building with building accountability and discipline in your program. There are coaches who are powerful relationship builders, and other coaches who are very good at building and developing discipline. The truly elite coaches are able to develop a perfect balance between the two, knowing when they must be more relational, and knowing when they must build discipline through accountability.
You have probably heard coaches referred to as strong relationship builders. Their players will run through a wall for them. This is a powerful testament to the ability of these coaches to reach athletes. Building relationships is important to being a successful coach and running a successful program. One of the pitfalls of relational coaches, however, is when they struggle with holding their athletes accountable. They especially struggle with holding their best athletes accountable.
When you build relationships but don't have accountability, you basically have become a "friend" to your athletes. They already have friends, and so do you. Kids don't need a friend. They need someone who will challenge them, and bring out the best in them. This doesn't happen through fiery speeches, or from coaches jumping around and being excited.
Here are the six issues that come from coaches being relational, without having accountability.
- Your athletes will make undisciplined mistakes.
- Your athletes will quit when they face adversity or get behind.
- Your athletes will not know how to respond to coaching.
- They won't understand what is happening when someone holds them accountable.
- You will lose to people you shouldn't lose to from a talent standpoint.
- You will have more players quit during the season.
How many of you have seen this at some level within your own teams? I have been a part of programs where you have great relationship builders, but the program lacks standards and accountability. Everything you do matters. You are either developing accountability, or you are developing entitlement. There is no in between. You can't talk people into being disciplined, and you certainly can't develop discipline and accountability by being a "good" guy.
I also was in a program that was led by someone who didn't do a good job of building relationships. He thought that discipline was developed by being a jerk all the time. His players feared making a mistake, which made them robots on the field. They also were miserable and often quit in high numbers. Program retention struggled. Being too far on one end of the spectrum will lead to failure.
Strike A Balance
The key is strike a balance between relationship building and setting standards and holding people accountable to the standards. When a program has a very relational head coach but lacks discipline, you will only go as far as your talent will take you. You will not have consistent mental toughness. You will be really good when things are easy to moderately difficult. But when we faced someone who was mentally tough and more together as a team, you will lose all of your self-discipline. You will find yourself with a group of veteran players who hav a sense of entitlement. They know they wouldn't be held accountable, and this will lead to losing some games you should have won. You have to be continue to build strong relationships, but you also have to love your players enough to set boundaries and hold them accountable.
The ultimate goal is for every single player in your program to develop self-discipline. But before people can develop self-discipline, they need to have someone hold them accountable to develop that discipline.
So What Do You Need to Do?
Correcting this imbalance isn't easy, but is also not rocket science. It is actually very simple in theory, but difficult in that relationship builders have to get out of their comfort zone. Relationship builders struggle with making people uncomfortable. They want to please people and make them happy. In itself, this is not a terrible thing. But when you don't have a balance with standards and accountability, you limit the potential of your team. The hard part about this is that you are going to have to be willing to change, and change is hard. I recommend having a mentor who is strong in this area that can help you go through this process.
First, you have to have a set of standards that are unwavering. You set clearly defined standards and expectations that will raise the level of the performance of those in your program. You need standards for the classroom, weight room, and on the field. Your standards are not going to adjusted to the individual, because they don't rely on ability. These standards all are things that take zero talent. What do you stand for? If you stand for nothing, you will fall for everything. Your standards are bigger than football. Your standards will carry people through life. The best part about your standards, is they take zero talent or ability.
Some examples of academic standards would be:
You will be in class and in class on time on time. If you aren't in class on time, you will be held accountable. If you cut class, you will be held accountable.
You will not be a negative distraction in class. If you are a negative distraction, you will be held accountable. You will not get ISS or detention. If you do, you will be held accountable.
In the weight room, you have certain standards for technique. You have standards for how you set up the racks. You have standards and expectations for each lift. Hold everyone accountable to meeting these standards.
You might be like many coaches who have a standard and expectation that skill guys will run track. I have seen may programs say they have this standard, but they don't hold people to it. They don't have any accountability measures when skill guys don't run track.
For a lot of coaches, having standards is difficult because they don't like to have rules. This is perfectly understandable. But if people don't know what is expected, how can they do it? Standards set a certain level of performance that it takes for people to perform at their highest level.
Second, you have to hold people accountable to the standard, and do so consistently. Everyone is held to the same standard. You don't give people a free pass because they are harder to coach or hold accountable. You don't make things easy for your better athletes. You don't make things harder for your guys that are easier to coach. This is what many coaches do. They want so badly for their best athletes to play, that they hold them to a lower standard so they don't quit. This is going to lead to developing a sense of entitlement. This is doing your athletes and your community a disservice.
In addition to holding people accountable when they fall short of the standards, you must recognize those who meet and exceed that standards. You get what emphasize. When people know that you will not let them slip, and that you will reward them for meeting the standard, you will have more people striving to be the standard.
If you won't hold people accountable to meeting the standards that take zero talent, you will never be able to hold them accountable for the things that do take talent. If you want accountability on the field, you better hold people accountable off the field.
Third, you have to have difficult conversations. You have to be willing to have hard conversations with your athletes that don't do well when they face adversity. You have to be willing to call out when they don't meet the standard, and hold them accountable. They want boundaries. They want someone to see the best in them. They want someone to love them enough to hold them accountable to being the best version of themselves. Too many coaches are trying to avoid friction. Friction is a good thing. Pressure is a good thing.
When you have a standard that people are not held accountable, that standard becomes optional. When one standard becomes optional, all standards become optional. When one person is allowed to deviate from the standard, it is nearly impossible to hold anyone accountable to the standard. The choice you have at that point is simple. You either hold people accountable to the standard, or you get rid of the standard. Too many coaches are willing to lower the standard, rather than increase the accountability.
This is not easy to do. We all know that some of our best athletes are also the most difficult to hold accountable and have difficult conversations with. This is where the relationship becomes important. With that said, the relationship does not make an impact. The relationship gives you permission to make the impact. The stronger the relationship, the more you will feel comfortable holding people accountable.
You Need Standards and Expectations
To have accountability, you need to have standards and expectations, and they must be clearly defined. If you don't have standards, and you don't have accountability to those standards, you will rarely have discipline. You might have a bunch of coaches who liked their players, and a bunch of players who like their coaches, but we didn't have the love that comes from accountability.
I recently visited a program where the HFC said academics were important, but students were not held to any standards in the classroom. They were allowed to do the bare minimum to pass. There was no focus on excelling in the classroom. Students were not held accountable for missing class or cutting school. In fact, the coach would punish kids for being late to the weight room, but not for being late to class. This leads to a toxic culture. Ultimately, it hurts kids.
Telling kids you expect good grades is not going to help them get good grades. Too often, coaches set very low expectations in the classroom. They push eligibility, and that is where it stops. The problem is, if you allow low standards in one area of a student-athletes experience, those low standards will permeate other areas of your program. And, every kid will need be disciplined in the classroom to maximize their success in life. If you don't hold kids accountable to their behavior in the classroom, you are hurting their development into being men.
No Walking on The Green
This is something I see often. Coaches will tell their team that know one walks on the field, or the grass, but they never hold anyone accountable for walking. If you have a standard but don't hold accountability to the standard, you need to get rid of the standard. I have seen teams where a large group of players are hustling off the field, while another group walked. The group that walked were the starters and supposed best players. When you have one set of standards for one group, while having another set of standards for another group, you are creating a culture of destruction.
When you allow your best players to deviate from the standard while holding your lesser players accountable to the standard, you will destroy your locker room.
The strongest program I have been a part of had high standards and high accountability to those standards. The head coach balanced relationships with accountability. We overachieved on a consistent basis. On a purely talent measure, we should have won 2 or 3 games a year. We consistently made deep playoff runs and beat people who were much more talented.
We had a standard that no one walks off the field. We always hustle. If anyone walked off the field, we all would stop what we were doing and do pushups. We had a game where guys weren't hustling on and off the field. We started practice the next week with a drill called 11 on, 11 off. Everyone ran to the middle of the field, then ran off the field. We did this several times before practice began. Did it take time? Yes. But we did not have players walking off or on the field in a game after that.
The Ultimate Accountability Measure
Perhaps the greatest form of accountability is playing time. Flipping tires and pushing plates or towels has a place, but when someone has to watch from the sideline or the stands, the message tends to hit home. Too often, coaches are too worried about losing this game to sit players out. But what you sacrifice this game will have a lasting impact on not only bigger games down the road, but on the life of your athlete.
Many years ago we had a very good player who was not allowed to dress for a big game early in the year. He had to sit out because he cut class. Not only did he not cut anymore classes, but no other player cut classes. We had another player who skipped a practice. He made up an excuse, but he was with his girlfriend. He didn't get to play in the next two games. He was a started and important player. But the head coach said it was more important that he learn a life lesson. That young man has told me on more than one occasion that the reason he is successful as a man is because he was held accountable when he played for us. He said he learned about boundaries and expectations.
It hurt to have difficult conversations. It was hard to tell a kid he wasn't going to travel with us to a game and he had to watch from the stands. It was hurt know that we would have to make adjustments to the game plan because of something that happened in the classroom. It was hard to have parents upset because they didn't understand why we took playing time away when their son made mistakes outside of sport.
Holding Your Best Players Accountable
Earlier this year I talked to a coach after his quarterback didn't play in a huge district game. I asked if the player was hurt. He said no, the kid wasn't hurt. He had decided to make some poor decisions in the school building that required a learning experience. His team lost the game, and his quarterback hated not playing in that game. After they got back to the school, his QB was waiting when the bus pulled up. He asked the head coach if he could apologize to the team. He took responsibility for his actions, and the team knew that no one is above the standard. More importantly, this young man went from being the example to being the standard. He went from being a guy who constantly was in trouble, to the guy who set the standards for their expectations.
This is something that is often missed. Everything we do as coaches is going to make an impact. Everything we do is going to affect our athletes not only today, but in 5, 10, and 20 years. Often we might think they aren't listening. They are. They are being affected. The question is, are we affecting them in a positive way, or negative way?
Self-Evaluation
This is a great time to look at yourself and figure out where you need to change to help your program grow. If you are the head coach or AD, what do you need to change about yourself to help your program be more successful? Are you lacking standards? Are you lacking accountability? Are you developing mental toughness? If you are a coach who is relational, evaluate how you are affecting your players. Are you setting high standards? Are you holding them accountable? Are you willing to have difficult conversations? Are you trying to smooth the path so much that you fail to develop them to climb some mountains and push through barriers? If so, this is the perfect time to adjust. It is okay to change and evolve.
Great leaders know they have to adapt, evolve, and change. They have great awareness to know when something isn't going as well as it could, or when things need to be changed. They also trust their people. If you know you have room to grow, ask your coaches. If you aren't sure if they will tell you what you need to hear, do so anonymously. Give them some questions, ask them to answer them, print them, and leave them with you. Don't have them put their name on them. Ask them about the standards and accountability of your program. They will give you valuable insight.
I wish you the best as you begin to prepare for the upcoming season. If you are looking for some resources that will help you in your preparation, I have put together some things that coaches at all level of football are using with their programs. Not only will these help you be more organized, they will save you valuable time on the weekends.
A few years ago I was speaking at a clinic about our game planning and an FBS coordinator asked me after the talk to go through what we do. I shared with him our offensive game planning resource and he used it through the spring. He emailed me back that it was a game changer. It was an honor to have him use these documents. After speaking at clinics and hearing that more coaches didn't know where to start, I decided to make these available. Over 50 state championship coaches use these resources with their programs.
Here is a link to my offensive game planning documents: https://sellfy.com/p/AndN/
When I was a defensive coordinator we adapted this to our defensive preparation!
The course on communication gives you a detailed approach to your gameday communication. I give you a system and a process to improve the quality of conversations, leading to improved play calling on game day. This course has received outstanding reviews from coaches at all level of football. A coach with multiple state titles told me this course helped them to be much more efficient and explosive this season.
My two RPO courses take you through a systematic process of installing RPO's into your offensive system. RPO's put the defense in conflict, forcing them to defend all 53 yards of width and all 6 skill players every single play. I not only give you a system, but I teach you the methods to develop your own RPO concepts.
New Book
Over the last several months, I have stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote a new book about faith and purpose. The book is available as a paperback on Amazon, and as an eBook for the Kindle App. The cool thing about the Kindle app is that you can read the book on any device. I invite you to read it, and discover the power you receive when you make a decision to walk with the Lord. Here is a link to the book: Finding Faith
Since publishing the book, I have received numerous texts, calls, and emails, from people who are going through similar trials and tribulations. They were feeling many of the same things I was feeling. The found comfort in the book. They also found they had a desire to change and to live better. They wanted more joy.
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